r a i n & s k y

While I appreciate your enthusiasm for viewing dirty pictures, I don’t appreciate you parking across the street from my house to do so, in effect stealing my bandwidth on my wireless Internets.

We all love nekkid pictures, but the least you could do is obey public obscenity laws and view such picures in your own home on your own Internet connection. It’s like walking into someone’s house claiming your car is broke down and you need to call a tow truck, then using their phone to call a paid phone sex service. It’s rude, and shameless. It makes me rethink running an open wireless network. The only reason I left my network open is in the rare event that some poor person driving by would need to check their email and be able to use my connection for a few minutes. Not for some stupid kid to park outside my house for hours on at least two nights and slow my connection down until I can’t load pages while I’m learning Astronomy, all because you have to see naked people.

I’m sure you got the message about five minutes after I gleefully unplugged the wireless router when my big¹ brother went outside and asked you to not to steal our Internets, but in case you didn’t, I’m posting this. By the way, you were really obvious. Even my 50 year old mother noticed you. The least you could do is DIM THE SCREEN. Sheesh.

However, you did amuse me. So I won’t charge you for using my Internets. Also, I feel kinda bad for you because you don’t have the luxury of viewing nekkid pictures in your own house².

In conclusion, GTFO my Internets because you gave my 50 year old staunchly anti-porn mother something to nag about. That’s unforgivable. And I don’t even want to think about the possibility that you were viewing something that’s illegal…

Idiocy Explained:

1. 6 foot tall [↩]
2. Just guessing, but my brother said you were ‘just some kid’, so you’re probably underage and don’t want your parents to find out. Or you could be trying to hide it from your girlfriend. [↩]